According to a poster in the chippy, this year's Truck Fest at Newark Showground featured an appearance by former Eastenders star Michelle Collins. A spokesperson for the ghost of Herbie the love bug has rushed to quash rumours that Michelle was only there due to her belief that Transformers is based on a true story. 'Mich just loves trucks and trucking, she's not trying to trick Optimus Prime into revealing himself so she can steal his alien robot weaponry and try to take over the world. Such an assertion is ridiculous and I'd thank you for not bringing the matter up again.'
The transforming submarine car from James Bond movie The Spy Who Loved Me has been sold at auction for half a million pounds this week. The white Lotus Esprit was used by Roger Moore’s 007 to charm ladies and save the day but could it be used for evil rather than good?
Could this be a rival bid for super villain status? Is it perhaps time for Justin Bieber’s monkey to emerge from his hollowed out volcano in the middle of rural Germany to wreak his revenge on the world of pop? We contacted the simian fiend and were given this inconclusive statement ‘ooh ooh ah ah.’
Villainy aside it’s been a week for celebrating heroes with Rylan Clark named spectacle wearer of the year by a high-street chain of opticians. Rylan is best known for something or other [look this one up] and the award marks a high point in his career. A quick glance at the crystal ball I picked up at the local hospice shop reveals that news anchor Jon Snow is expected to run away with next week’s sock wearer of the year, while his colleague, the erstwhile Newsbeat presenter Krishnan Guru-Murthy, will take away the gong for loveliest eyebrows in a supporting role.
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