Kate Winslet has announced she won't be taking the surname of her husband Ned Rocknroll
According to our stupid made up names correspondent Orson Cart, she may be considering alternative surnames to better express her own unique, special individuality and has narrowed these down to either Kate Shakenvac, Kate Pickmmix or Kate Mygodwhatkindofegotisticalidiotcallshimselfrocknrollanywaynstuff.
Speaking of names that people are called. That bloke from TV's call centre show is called Nev. He and his crazy gang of wacky call centre workers are to release a single in a bid to make Christmas number one. Could it be about how you don't have to be mad to work there, but it helps? Or could it be a three minute apology for how the company he and his maaaaaaaaad minions work for were fined £225,000 in June for making thousands of nuisance calls? We tried ringing our contact in the land of far far away who informed us that they were having dinner and if we didn't stop bothering them they'd ram the bleeping phone right up our bleep.
You may ask where this leaves Linda Robson, Pauline Quirke and Lesley Joseph. It'd be a strange thing to ask but I'll answer anyway. They're making a new series of birds of a feather to be shown on Itv. So that's nice.
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