And now on world of yeah the bloke in front of you in the queue explains the week in celebrity happenings...
It's alright duck, I've got me bag for life, not sure how long that'll be though...shoulda gi'n me a discount for light usage. Mind you, some of them famous folk'll be dead before me, rate they're going. If it's not drug tekkin' it's summat else. Did ya see watsherface? 'Er what used to be married to 'im from that thing? It's a ruddy disgrace. Can't say ought though, else they'll 'ave ya for health'n'safety.
That other one's no better. Ya can see her knickers most on the time. She's done a book an' all! You can see it in mobile library bold as brass. Like I said to 'er next door, I wouldn't read that muck if you paid me.
Them young'uns on the telly though. I can't mek owt what they on wi'. You don't know where half on em's been. Prob'ly got rabies or summat. I wun't let 'em near my dog, not if they start drooling or foaming at the mouth, no thank you.
What? £3.47? I've got the 47 here if that's any help. No it's no bother. I'm in no hurry. 14...28...36...43... I'm sure I had a couple more tuppences in here. I don't know. You'd better mek do wi' just a fiver else we'll be here all day.
Friday 30 August 2013
Friday 23 August 2013
Celebrity news - One Direction and musical roughage
The new One Direction movie, This is U.S., has had its world premiere this Tuesday. The film was directed by Morgan Spurlock, most famous for bringing us the documentary Supersize Me.
I’m not sure what This is U.S. is about, but the bloke in the video shop reckons it follows Spurlock for a month as he tries to exist on a musical diet restricted to only One Direction. There are shocking scenes as he throws up in his car after listening to an entire album for the first time. Record company bosses, however, insist that there’s no danger from listening to One Direction and that their ‘music’ can be enjoyed as part of a healthy cultural lifestyle. Experts, according someone my mate knows, say that it’s best to introduce a bit of musical roughage with your One Direction and suggest their fans try a bit of Megadeth once in a while.
Megadeth, the titans of thrash metal, and favourite band of former House of Commons speaker Betty Boothroyd (probably), announced this week the release of a new live album in September. The record will feature a complete live performance of their classic album Countdown to Extinction and include such tracks as Ashes in your Mouth, She Wolf and Skin O’ My Teeth. The record may or not be packaged with the official soundtrack to the One Direction movie, along with some black eyeliner and a lovely pair of ripped jeans.
There are rumours that the One Direction-Megadeth connection will continue as that one from 1D who’s not Harry Styles has become engaged to someone or other from Little Mix. The word on the made-up streets is that the loved-up youngsters will skip down the aisle to the classic sounds of Megadeth’s Symphony of Destruction. But in a bold move the couple may take their first dance to the mellifluous melodies of Slayer’s Seasons in the Abyss. Or not. We at the celebrity news unit wish the happy couple all the best for their future together. Whoever they are.
This goes out on the radio as a spoken word thing every Friday morning on Erewash Sound. See www.erewashsound.com or follow DJ Paul Stacey on Twitter for details.
I’m not sure what This is U.S. is about, but the bloke in the video shop reckons it follows Spurlock for a month as he tries to exist on a musical diet restricted to only One Direction. There are shocking scenes as he throws up in his car after listening to an entire album for the first time. Record company bosses, however, insist that there’s no danger from listening to One Direction and that their ‘music’ can be enjoyed as part of a healthy cultural lifestyle. Experts, according someone my mate knows, say that it’s best to introduce a bit of musical roughage with your One Direction and suggest their fans try a bit of Megadeth once in a while.
Megadeth, the titans of thrash metal, and favourite band of former House of Commons speaker Betty Boothroyd (probably), announced this week the release of a new live album in September. The record will feature a complete live performance of their classic album Countdown to Extinction and include such tracks as Ashes in your Mouth, She Wolf and Skin O’ My Teeth. The record may or not be packaged with the official soundtrack to the One Direction movie, along with some black eyeliner and a lovely pair of ripped jeans.
There are rumours that the One Direction-Megadeth connection will continue as that one from 1D who’s not Harry Styles has become engaged to someone or other from Little Mix. The word on the made-up streets is that the loved-up youngsters will skip down the aisle to the classic sounds of Megadeth’s Symphony of Destruction. But in a bold move the couple may take their first dance to the mellifluous melodies of Slayer’s Seasons in the Abyss. Or not. We at the celebrity news unit wish the happy couple all the best for their future together. Whoever they are.
This goes out on the radio as a spoken word thing every Friday morning on Erewash Sound. See www.erewashsound.com or follow DJ Paul Stacey on Twitter for details.
Friday 9 August 2013
Celebrity news - celebrity nudes unit
It's the world of yeah celebrity nudes unit. Your guide to who's not wearing what.
For some reason lady gaga's taken her clothes off to appear in a music video or something.
This maverick move has been welcomed by newspapers because it gives them the excuse to print some naughty pictures. One fake reporter told us "don't creep up on me like that when I'm on the computer I could be working on something private" and then added "don't tell my mum will you?"
Lady Gaga's lead is not being followed by everyone though. Bucks Fizz bombshell Cheryl Baker has disappointed or delighted fans by announcing she won't be stripping off to save some tigers. The eurovision pop legend is keeping her kit firmly on in spite of promoting the forthcoming Streak for Tigers event at London Zoo. The zoo is looking for volunteers to streak starkers around the zoo on Saturday 15 August to raise a bit of money along with 'the profile of the drastic work that needs to be done in order to save the Sumatran Tiger', of which there are only 300 left in the wild. A spokestiger has said, "if Cheryl wants to keep covered that's fine. We're just glad for the shout out from a showbiz legend and if it encourages more people to air their wobblies and raise some cash for a good cause, we're all for it. Good on ya' Chel!"
The non -existent speaking tiger had nothing to say about One Direction's state of undress. One of them, the one that's not Harry styles has been photographed without his top on while on a balcony in Los Angeles. We're led to believe that this was a gratis glimpse and that no endangered animals were saved in the process. Rumours flying round my back garden are that there's a campaign to sponsor one direction to keep their shirts on for a bit. One fatigued garden gnome said "I just wish they'd give it a rest, what's wrong with wearing a cardigan or something?"
Sign up for the Streak for Tigers event here:
https://www.zsl.org/text-only/support-us/challenge-events/streak-for-tigers-thursday-15-august,2096,AR.html
The audio version of this sort of thing goes out every Friday morning on Erewash Sound.
This maverick move has been welcomed by newspapers because it gives them the excuse to print some naughty pictures. One fake reporter told us "don't creep up on me like that when I'm on the computer I could be working on something private" and then added "don't tell my mum will you?"
Lady Gaga's lead is not being followed by everyone though. Bucks Fizz bombshell Cheryl Baker has disappointed or delighted fans by announcing she won't be stripping off to save some tigers. The eurovision pop legend is keeping her kit firmly on in spite of promoting the forthcoming Streak for Tigers event at London Zoo. The zoo is looking for volunteers to streak starkers around the zoo on Saturday 15 August to raise a bit of money along with 'the profile of the drastic work that needs to be done in order to save the Sumatran Tiger', of which there are only 300 left in the wild. A spokestiger has said, "if Cheryl wants to keep covered that's fine. We're just glad for the shout out from a showbiz legend and if it encourages more people to air their wobblies and raise some cash for a good cause, we're all for it. Good on ya' Chel!"
The non -existent speaking tiger had nothing to say about One Direction's state of undress. One of them, the one that's not Harry styles has been photographed without his top on while on a balcony in Los Angeles. We're led to believe that this was a gratis glimpse and that no endangered animals were saved in the process. Rumours flying round my back garden are that there's a campaign to sponsor one direction to keep their shirts on for a bit. One fatigued garden gnome said "I just wish they'd give it a rest, what's wrong with wearing a cardigan or something?"
Sign up for the Streak for Tigers event here:
https://www.zsl.org/text-only/support-us/challenge-events/streak-for-tigers-thursday-15-august,2096,AR.html
The audio version of this sort of thing goes out every Friday morning on Erewash Sound.
Friday 2 August 2013
Celebrity news: Mercury attacked by Jacko's llama luvvie
Prepare your ears for the release of duets from Michael Jackson and Freddie Mercury later this year. According to Anita Dobson’s husband, Brian May, people will be able to hear the tracks in about two months’ time. The duo recorded a number of songs together in 1983, but had to cut short their studio time after Jackson brought in an actual llama.
To whet your appetite for the release of these historic recordings we have a World of Yeah celebrity news unit showbiz exclusive. Here, exclusively, we have an exclusive interview with that very llama, Colin.
Hello Colin. Thanks for joining us.
It’s a pleasure. I’m a huge fan of the show.
Thirty years ago you were working with Michael Jackson and Freddie Mercury. Two legends in pop. What was that like?
A delight from start to finish. Both of them were absolute gents.
How did you meet?
It was a party at Su Pollard’s house. You can always rely on dear Su for a good spread. I’d been hogging the buffet with Paul Shane, you know egging him on to see how many pickled onions he could fit into his mouth when I heard this tiny polite cough. I turned round and who should it be but the young one from off of the Jackson’s 5 trying to get to the cheese and pineapple on a stick. Paul almost choked. I had to hit him on the back with a good old hoof, which caused mushed pickled onion to fly all over Michael. I mean…what could you do? Su was a diamond. She got him a dressing gown and put his shirt in the twin tub. And then we just spent the rest of the night chatting, he about his music, me about the guard behaviour of llamas and our use in modern farming to protect livestock.
And from this chance meeting over Su Pollard’s buffet, you were invited to join Michael Jackson and Freddie Mercury in the studio?
Yes. I was thrilled. When I met Freddie I told him as much. Love you work Freddie, I said, especially that Bohemian’s Rhapsody one you did. A bit long but good nevertheless. He smiled with those teeth of his.
It’s said that recording stopped, and I apologise for bringing this up, because you were disruptive. Is there any truth to that rumour?
A misunderstanding. Llamas, and I’m no exception, are fiercely protective. Dear Michael and Freddie are singing away, you know like they would, when all of a sudden my camelid instincts flare up. Freddie looks like he’s going for Michael, of whom I’d grown very fond, and I’m afraid I see red. I burst into the studio. The producer’s going absolutely ape defecation crazy and I put myself between Michael and Freddie, spitting away. Trying, or so I think, to protect my friend. Well, it takes some for the shouting to clear. Things were said, you know, and I end up at Paul Shane’s house, snacking on pickled onions and waiting to hear from Michael. Eventually he calls, all very understanding, and explains Freddie wasn’t trying to attack him it was just a case of over exuberant jazz hands. Years later we could laugh about it, but at the time I was mortified.
And was that the end of you studio pop career?
Not quite. I did the odd job, off and on. You know doing backing vocals for the Sugarbabes, stuff like that.
Colin thank you ever so much for talking to us today. And if you want to hear things like this why not tune in to Paul Stacey's breakfast show on a Friday on Erewash Sound. 96.8fm or www.erewashsound.com.
To whet your appetite for the release of these historic recordings we have a World of Yeah celebrity news unit showbiz exclusive. Here, exclusively, we have an exclusive interview with that very llama, Colin.
Hello Colin. Thanks for joining us.
It’s a pleasure. I’m a huge fan of the show.
Thirty years ago you were working with Michael Jackson and Freddie Mercury. Two legends in pop. What was that like?
A delight from start to finish. Both of them were absolute gents.
How did you meet?
It was a party at Su Pollard’s house. You can always rely on dear Su for a good spread. I’d been hogging the buffet with Paul Shane, you know egging him on to see how many pickled onions he could fit into his mouth when I heard this tiny polite cough. I turned round and who should it be but the young one from off of the Jackson’s 5 trying to get to the cheese and pineapple on a stick. Paul almost choked. I had to hit him on the back with a good old hoof, which caused mushed pickled onion to fly all over Michael. I mean…what could you do? Su was a diamond. She got him a dressing gown and put his shirt in the twin tub. And then we just spent the rest of the night chatting, he about his music, me about the guard behaviour of llamas and our use in modern farming to protect livestock.
And from this chance meeting over Su Pollard’s buffet, you were invited to join Michael Jackson and Freddie Mercury in the studio?
Yes. I was thrilled. When I met Freddie I told him as much. Love you work Freddie, I said, especially that Bohemian’s Rhapsody one you did. A bit long but good nevertheless. He smiled with those teeth of his.
It’s said that recording stopped, and I apologise for bringing this up, because you were disruptive. Is there any truth to that rumour?
A misunderstanding. Llamas, and I’m no exception, are fiercely protective. Dear Michael and Freddie are singing away, you know like they would, when all of a sudden my camelid instincts flare up. Freddie looks like he’s going for Michael, of whom I’d grown very fond, and I’m afraid I see red. I burst into the studio. The producer’s going absolutely ape defecation crazy and I put myself between Michael and Freddie, spitting away. Trying, or so I think, to protect my friend. Well, it takes some for the shouting to clear. Things were said, you know, and I end up at Paul Shane’s house, snacking on pickled onions and waiting to hear from Michael. Eventually he calls, all very understanding, and explains Freddie wasn’t trying to attack him it was just a case of over exuberant jazz hands. Years later we could laugh about it, but at the time I was mortified.
And was that the end of you studio pop career?
Not quite. I did the odd job, off and on. You know doing backing vocals for the Sugarbabes, stuff like that.
Colin thank you ever so much for talking to us today. And if you want to hear things like this why not tune in to Paul Stacey's breakfast show on a Friday on Erewash Sound. 96.8fm or www.erewashsound.com.
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