Here at your celebrity news unit, if there’s one thing we can’t stand it’s made-up rumours, inaccuracies and lies and people what can’t count properly and do a proper grammar.
Last week Nick Knowles’ sister Beyonce had her spokeslady slam, yes slam(!), rumours that Be-Yo was having an affair with professional president Baracks Obama as absurd. Of course they’re absurd, everyone knows he prefers Kelly Rowland. At least that's what I've heard.
Another rumour that has us crazy bonkers foaming at the mouth is that celebrity person Kim Cardassian has had an artificial bum installed. The star, most famous for something or other, went on the Twitter to state "I'm seeing all these nonsense tabloids claiming I have butt implants-injections. Get a life!" Get a life indeed, it’s not even believable, not like that one about Pharrell Williams.
Pharrell, who recently updated Ken Dodd’s Happiness song for the text message generation, has had to deny rumours that he’s an actual vampire. The forty year old NERD singer told Time Out London: "I'm willing to go on record as saying that I don't drink people's blood." Pharrell put his youthful looks, at such an advanced ancient age, down to washing his face. Given that we hate rumours and gossip mongering it would be wrong of us to point out that he didn’t specify with what he cleansed his mush. Those fine chops of his could be washed with the blood of rap duo Salt’n’Peppa for all we know. After all it’s been literally donkeys’ years since anyone’s heard anything from them. I’m not saying they’re being used as human soap dispensers but it definitely makes you think.
Paul Stacey played an audio version of this on his radio show. Listen to him every weekday morning from 7 on Erewash Sound. 96.8fm or www.erewashsound.com. xx
