Bruce Willis says it's an 'honour' to play GI Joe in new film GI Joe Retaliations. But what does the GI in GI Joe stand for? We’ve had exclusive access to some bloke on the street who says, ‘er, I don’t know, is it like a Grounds Inspector or something, you know for when it’s been snowing and they see if you can actually play football on the pitch or not.’ Well, we here at the Celebrity News Unit think that’s as good a guess as any. And we can’t wait to find out what Brucie has to say about this Saturday’s Evo-Stik League Northern Premier match between Ilkeston FC and Blyth Spartans.
The former Moonlighting and Hudson Hawk star appears in the new film with Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson. According to our source in the street, Johnson plays a fellow pitch inspector for the Evo-Stik League and responds to his colleague’s maverick ways with the catchphrase ‘What'chu talkin' 'bout, Bruce Willis?’ So that’s GI Joe Retaliations, out in cinemas now, for at least the next week or so.
And the weather’s not just keeping Brucie busy. It was a bit windy the other day and Mylene Klass’s skirt got caught in the gust. Thankfully photographers were on hand to record the moment for posterity. A made-up onlooker said, ‘it was great, you could see like just above her knees as she tried to hold the skirt down and keep her dignity, it was even better than when photographers followed her and her kids on the school run earlier this month. I can’t wait to see what they snap next.’
Finally, throwing caution to the wind in this chilly climate, Harry Styles from One Direction has put photos of himself on twitter and he’s not wearing a top. Not even a vest. Worried fans I’ve imagined are concerned that Harry will catch his death and have started knitting him a new sweater. A source close to the snowman in my garden has said that fans need not fret. ‘Harry’s got gas central heating throughout and took off his top so that he’d feel the benefit when taking next door’s dog for a walk.’ Next door’s dog declined to comment.
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