Celebrity News - Munich Monkey Rescue!

Jessie J has hit back at critics who say she’s not very good on TV’s The Voice. No one at the World of Yeah Celebrity News Unit has actually seen The Voice, but we’re sure she’s doing a sterling job and as long she’s trying her best that’s all that matters. And if things get that bad she could always join Cheryl Cole, who’s jetted off to your United States of America, (which is somewhere between Mexico and Canada). 

But why?! Why has Cheryl Cole gone to America? Is she hoping to crack the billboard 100 musical charts or land a part in season 4 of Game of Thrones? Is she the new host of Man vs. Food? Or is she, as we here at the Celeb News Unit believe, assembling an all-star showbiz team to rescue Justin Bieber’s monkey?

The Canadian Chesney Hawkes flew the monkey to Germany on a private jet, but failed to get the correct papers. Now the Biebster’s simian pet is being held at an animal shelter in Munich, with freedom far from the grasp of his little monkey paws, hoping that a Geordie superstar will pull off the most daring prison break of the twenty-first century.

Cheryl Cole’s showbiz rescue squad will probably be bankrolled by Harry Styles, and his One Direction mates, who this week were said to be the UK’s wealthiest boy band. 

American actress Lindsay Lohans, who fooled the world on the 1st of April by doing a joke that she was pregnant, will be on the team to provide distraction. Lindsay will go to the animal shelter desk, claim to be the monkey’s uncle and kick up a Hollywood-sized fuss all up in their Bavarian faces. Cheryl, along with Robert Downey Junior, Scarlett Johansson and Samuel L Jackson, will suit up, fly in and grab the monkey. The monkey will then be whisked away to Norway to rendezvous with an anxious Biebo. Of course, the handover will only take place after Cheryl has given young Justin a good talking to about how being a grown up means learning to take responsibility not only for yourself, but for those who depend on you, including your monkey.

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