According to actual reports, Katy Perry has been dropped as the face of a brand of hair straighteners and all for not being famous enough. Katy's prepared to go to court to argue her case and we here at the Celebrity News Unit are happy to give her a head start.
Of course she’s famous enough, she’s er. . . used to be married to that bloke, you know and had that song that people liked. She’s . . . ok she’s no Su Pollard but she’s still famous and we love all her songs, even the rubbish ones. However, could Katy be wishing that she hadn’t scaled the dizzying heights of fame at all?
It’s official folks, or as official as these things can be, being famous can shave years off your life. That's according to dubious research floating its way to the top of the 'ready-made story bag'. Actors, singers, musicians, and dancers could all be heading to an earlier grave than counterparts in other walks of life. The experts at the Institute for Celebrity Mortality, or wherever they're from, claim it could be down to all the vices performers have. What with all the smoking, drinking and drugging that they do.
All this could be bad news for Harry Styles from off of One Direction. A Warwickshire-based celebrity mask manufacturer has revealed that Harry's mush is selling three times faster than those of the other 1D lads. The young pop scoundrel looks like he'd never touch a drug or a booze, but he could still be heading for that great stadium gig in the sky faster than his band mates. What if the scientists had got it wrong and something other than lifestyle was to blame?
Are there darker forces at work than fags, booze and poppers?
Are there darker forces at work than fags, booze and poppers?
Is Harry playing chess with Death or is continuous touring an attempt to outrun a Final Destination–style fate? All of this has got us very worried here at the Celebrity News Unit and we urge young Harry to give it a rest, go into hiding for a bit, away from the spotlight. For your own sake, and for ours, stop man! Stop before it's too late.
Listen to Celebrity News every Friday morning at about 8am on Wake up with Erewash. www.erewashsound.com or 96.8fm. Follow @paulstaceyshow on twitters for more details.
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