Celebrity news - Biebo's bucket'o'wee

Previously I’ve referred to Justin Bieber as the Canadian Chesney Hawkes. Following recent events I would like to apologise to Mr Hawkes for any hurt or distress this may have caused. This week a video of the Biebster was leaked onto the internet showing the teenage singer in a restaurant weeing into a bucket. This act demonstrates without doubt that comparisons with Mr Hawkes are unfair and unfounded, no matter what you thought of the film Buddy’s Song co-starring Roger Daltrey of The Who and Michael Elphick from off of Boon.

You may be sick to your back teeth of young Biebster and his antics, so you may not want to stick Selena Gomez's new song in your personal stereo. The track, titled Love Will Remember, begins with a voicemail Biebo left for Selena in which he calls her a princess. Unfortunately my copy got chewed up in the tape machine so I can't play you the actual message. From memory though it goes something like this:

Er hello princess? It's Justin Bieber here , famous singer and your on-off boy squeeze. Errrrrrrr, you doing anything tonight? You probably are but I've er got Ghostbusters II out on video and a massive pizza, they had a special offer on, do you want to come over? No problem if you don't. I mean I can always stick it back in the freezer. The pizza I mean, not the video, ha ha ha. Anyway errrr, yeah let me know. Byeee!

After hearing that you may be wondering, just what is the state of Justin and Selena's relationship? Well, celeb fans, they're back together (at the time of writing). The reunion is on the proviso that the young man behave himself. After all the leaked video also showed Biebo getting up to such reprehensible antics as swearing at a photo of former US president Bill Clinton and squirting cleaning fluid all over it. He's since begged Bill for his forgiveness.

Speaking of former commander in chief Bill.IAMS, last month some of Monica Lewinsky's clothes went up for online auction, giving us all a chance to air old jokes and perhaps splash out on her dress. Sadly reports seem to indicate that buyers weren't interested, with the auction site slightly misjudging the market, coming so close but no cigar.

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