Celeb news - A more innocent time

Hi!!! As TV’s the Fonzie would say or perhaps sing. The Fonzie is set to return in a new musical based on Happy Days, opening this weekend in Bromley. For those too young to remember, Happy Days was a sitcom set in the golden age of the fifties, those innocent days long before the ills of the internet were even imagined. The show revolved around a mechanic who used to befriend school kids and hang around inside the girls’ toilets at the local diner. It really was a more innocent time. The musical revival stars former Emmerdale Farm actor Ben Freeman as the Fonzie with Bucks Fizz bombshell Cheryl Baker as Mrs Cunningham, a parent of two of the teens he befriends.

Speaking of more innocent times. Remember S Club 7? They were like S Club Juniors but without later chart success as The Saturdays. Well they too may be getting a musical revival if Twitter is any indication. One of the S Club boys, Paul Cattermole, got on the old tweeting box to hassle former bandmates about a reunion. You might think that there wouldn’t be a cat in mole’s chance of this leading anywhere but one of them actually tweeted back with ‘ok LOL’. Reports that Cattermole then printed this out at his local library, shouting at librarians that it was a legally binding contract and that they’d better get him a plastic wallet for safekeeping are entirely made up.

Something that's not made up is that retired American basketball person Dennis Rodman has paid another visit to suspiciously fat North Korean dictator Lil Kim Jong Un. Rodman even sung happy birthday to the chubby tubster, much like Marylin Monroes did for JFK. Reports that Paul Cattermole is trying to get his former bandmates to sing at the next big North Korean birthday bash are just complete fabrications as is the rumour that Kim Jong Un would want to turn them all into an S Club Sandwich and eat them.

Celeb news - Pixie cut droids in space

Open auditions are going to be held in London for the new Star Wars sequels. It's your chance to Force your way into showbiz and join Hand Solo and Princess Layla aboard the Minellium Falcons.

I wanted to go for the part of Sven Duplex, a Droid farmer from the planet Frangipane with a drink problem and a heart of gold. I wanted to go for that part but it doesn't exist.

Instead I have to come crashing back to reality in the spaceship of my mind, while I confront the Earth shattering news that Pamela Andersons, from off of Baywatch, has had a haircut. The blonde bombshell has stunned fans by having a short pixie cut. We asked an actual pretend pixie for their opinion. "It's looks quite nice. I think it suits her," was their reply.

"Yeah well what about Lady Gaga?" You might say. "Someone should shoot her into space." Well, it's funny that you might say that because she might actually be shooting off into space in 2015 and performing a song aboard Richard Branson's Virgin Galactic. The gig will be part of the Zero Gravity festival in Mexico. But where do they go from here? Will Phil Collins do a drum solo on Mars? Will Katrina and the Waves actually walk on sunshine? Will Bucks Fizz blast themselves into the future to team up with Buck Rogers in the 25th Century and save the world from aliens in bad 70s outfits? We can only speculate. And you can only hear my voice saying these words if you listen to Paul Stacey's breakfast show on a Friday. He's on Erewash Sound, which is on 96.8fm in the Erewash area (Ilkeston, Long Eaton, Ockbrook etc etc).

Celebrity news - celebrity nudes unit

It's the world of yeah celebrity nudes unit. Your guide to who's not wearing what. For some reason lady gaga's taken her clothes off to appear in a music video or something.

This maverick move has been welcomed by newspapers because it gives them the excuse to print some naughty pictures. One fake reporter told us "don't creep up on me like that when I'm on the computer I could be working on something private" and then added "don't tell my mum will you?"

Lady Gaga's lead is not being followed by everyone though. Bucks Fizz bombshell Cheryl Baker has disappointed or delighted fans by announcing she won't be stripping off to save some tigers. The eurovision pop legend is keeping her kit firmly on in spite of promoting the forthcoming Streak for Tigers event at London Zoo. The zoo is looking for volunteers to streak starkers around the zoo on Saturday 15 August to raise a bit of money along with 'the profile of the drastic work that needs to be done in order to save the Sumatran Tiger', of which there are only 300 left in the wild. A spokestiger has said, "if Cheryl wants to keep covered that's fine. We're just glad for the shout out from a showbiz legend and if it encourages more people to air their wobblies and raise some cash for a good cause, we're all for it. Good on ya' Chel!"

The non -existent speaking tiger had nothing to say about One Direction's state of undress. One of them, the one that's not Harry styles has been photographed without his top on while on a balcony in Los Angeles. We're led to believe that this was a gratis glimpse and that no endangered animals were saved in the process.  Rumours flying round my back garden are that there's a campaign to sponsor one direction to keep their shirts on for a bit. One fatigued garden gnome said "I just wish they'd give it a rest, what's wrong with wearing a cardigan or something?"


Sign up for the Streak for Tigers event here:


https://www.zsl.org/text-only/support-us/challenge-events/streak-for-tigers-thursday-15-august,2096,AR.html

The audio version of this sort of thing goes out every Friday morning on Erewash Sound.

Celebrity news - Lines are closed

Welcome back to the celebrity news unit Celebriquiz, Colin's on course to win those tickets to see Erewash's second best Bucks Fizz tribute act Bicks Fuzz. Colin are you still with us?

Just about

OK. Colin next question to get you on the way. Amelia Lily from the X Factor has cancelled all pre-orders for her debut album this week. Is this because:

A - record label bosses fear it is so awful that playing it will open a portal to a hell dimension
B - Amelia has delayed the release to work on new material for it, or
C - it's at a pitch that's upsetting to dogs and other domestic pets, such as cats and rabbits

I'm pretty sure Gary Barlow's solo work opened a gateway to the netherworld, so it can't be that, ands it probably is upsetting for dogs but I don't know cats or rabbits would feel the same. I'll go with b, she's working on more material

Are you sure

Umm, yes. Pretty sure.

You're bang on! It was b. Ok one more question to go and those tickets could be yours. Colin if you won who would you take with you?

Probably ilkeston born actor Robert lindsay or his brother.

OK, well fingers crossed, good luck, here goes, final question. Pop singing lady Rita Ora is rumoured to be collaborating with which heartthrob singer and actor. Is it

A - Justin Timberlake
B - Nick Berry or
C - Dennis Waterman?

Er well I know Rita Ora is too orangey for crows but none of them is an actual crow, so that doesn't help. Nick Berry was in Heartbeat as well as being a heartthrob so I'll go with b again. Nick Berry.

Nick Berry?

Yep.

Colin. You're wrong it was A - Justin Timberlake. I'm so sorry. The tickets will roll over to next week when you'll also be able to compete for a bag of beef mince from a local butcher of your choice. So keep your wireless radio tuned to 96.8fm for Erewash Sound.

Celebrity news - Fizz free conspiracy?

One Direction’s personal chef has spilled the beans on the band’s favourite foods and it’s fascinating. Honestly. Contrary to what you may think, turkey dinosaur shapes and alphabetti spaghetti are nowhere to be found on the 1D menu. No, the boys have proper grown up food like sausage and mash, spicy chicken and Special K. The chef also revealed that there’s no booze supplied, adding that ‘they also drink more juices and water than fizzy drinks. Before they go onstage, they tend to have orange or apple juice, Capri-Suns or Rubicon.’

My contact in the night garden says, ‘these concerts often go on until just around bed time, so cola and other fizzy drinks are a no no. Harry once had half a Panda Pop at about six o’clock. He didn’t get to sleep until way past ten and ended up being over tired and grumpy the next day.’   One Direction’s disdain for alcohol and carbonated drinks may have had unfortunate repercussions. There may be no connection, I may be living in a land of make believe, but is it just a coincidence that a band named after a combination of the two, Bucks Fizz, has had a bit of bother getting work recently? Are people that desperate to please the fizzy drink fearing pop tots? Hear the evidence before you start making your mind up.   At the same time as the 1D boy's drink preferences were made public, Record breaker Cheryl Baker's celebrity cook off tour suffered severe set backs recently with all dates in June and July shelved with no explanation. A coincidence? Maybe, but it's a sad day when Eurovision legend Cheryl is short on work. I had a quick look up her twitter and found this tweet from her fair fingers -

 

Well, we may have just the gig for her. Maybe Cheryl can bring her cook off skills to help Renée Zellweger shove on a few stone for the third Bridget Jones movie. According to reports the latest installment will see Bridget “immersed in texting and social media” and, ohmygodstopthisislikesobrilliant, learning that it is never OK to text while drunk.   Other things that she'll learn include that it's never okay to pump evil pink slime into New York's sewers, trust evil spirits trapped inside seventeenth century paintings, animate the Statue of Liberty or cross the streams. Hang on that’s Ghostbusters II. No, forget everything I’ve just said. Bridget Jones 3 is going to be completely original and unlike anything you’ve ever read or seen before.

Listen to the spoken word version of this every Friday morning on Erewash Sound. Usually about 8am-ish. Check with @paulstaceyshow for details.