Celebrity news - Biebo's bucket'o'wee

Previously I’ve referred to Justin Bieber as the Canadian Chesney Hawkes. Following recent events I would like to apologise to Mr Hawkes for any hurt or distress this may have caused. This week a video of the Biebster was leaked onto the internet showing the teenage singer in a restaurant weeing into a bucket. This act demonstrates without doubt that comparisons with Mr Hawkes are unfair and unfounded, no matter what you thought of the film Buddy’s Song co-starring Roger Daltrey of The Who and Michael Elphick from off of Boon.

You may be sick to your back teeth of young Biebster and his antics, so you may not want to stick Selena Gomez's new song in your personal stereo. The track, titled Love Will Remember, begins with a voicemail Biebo left for Selena in which he calls her a princess. Unfortunately my copy got chewed up in the tape machine so I can't play you the actual message. From memory though it goes something like this:

Er hello princess? It's Justin Bieber here , famous singer and your on-off boy squeeze. Errrrrrrr, you doing anything tonight? You probably are but I've er got Ghostbusters II out on video and a massive pizza, they had a special offer on, do you want to come over? No problem if you don't. I mean I can always stick it back in the freezer. The pizza I mean, not the video, ha ha ha. Anyway errrr, yeah let me know. Byeee!

After hearing that you may be wondering, just what is the state of Justin and Selena's relationship? Well, celeb fans, they're back together (at the time of writing). The reunion is on the proviso that the young man behave himself. After all the leaked video also showed Biebo getting up to such reprehensible antics as swearing at a photo of former US president Bill Clinton and squirting cleaning fluid all over it. He's since begged Bill for his forgiveness.

Speaking of former commander in chief Bill.IAMS, last month some of Monica Lewinsky's clothes went up for online auction, giving us all a chance to air old jokes and perhaps splash out on her dress. Sadly reports seem to indicate that buyers weren't interested, with the auction site slightly misjudging the market, coming so close but no cigar.

Listen to Celebrity News every Friday morning at about 8am on Wake up with Erewash. www.erewashsound.com or 96.8fm. Follow @paulstaceyshow on twitters for more details.

Celebrity news - Fizz free conspiracy?

One Direction’s personal chef has spilled the beans on the band’s favourite foods and it’s fascinating. Honestly. Contrary to what you may think, turkey dinosaur shapes and alphabetti spaghetti are nowhere to be found on the 1D menu. No, the boys have proper grown up food like sausage and mash, spicy chicken and Special K. The chef also revealed that there’s no booze supplied, adding that ‘they also drink more juices and water than fizzy drinks. Before they go onstage, they tend to have orange or apple juice, Capri-Suns or Rubicon.’

My contact in the night garden says, ‘these concerts often go on until just around bed time, so cola and other fizzy drinks are a no no. Harry once had half a Panda Pop at about six o’clock. He didn’t get to sleep until way past ten and ended up being over tired and grumpy the next day.’   One Direction’s disdain for alcohol and carbonated drinks may have had unfortunate repercussions. There may be no connection, I may be living in a land of make believe, but is it just a coincidence that a band named after a combination of the two, Bucks Fizz, has had a bit of bother getting work recently? Are people that desperate to please the fizzy drink fearing pop tots? Hear the evidence before you start making your mind up.   At the same time as the 1D boy's drink preferences were made public, Record breaker Cheryl Baker's celebrity cook off tour suffered severe set backs recently with all dates in June and July shelved with no explanation. A coincidence? Maybe, but it's a sad day when Eurovision legend Cheryl is short on work. I had a quick look up her twitter and found this tweet from her fair fingers -

 

Well, we may have just the gig for her. Maybe Cheryl can bring her cook off skills to help Renée Zellweger shove on a few stone for the third Bridget Jones movie. According to reports the latest installment will see Bridget “immersed in texting and social media” and, ohmygodstopthisislikesobrilliant, learning that it is never OK to text while drunk.   Other things that she'll learn include that it's never okay to pump evil pink slime into New York's sewers, trust evil spirits trapped inside seventeenth century paintings, animate the Statue of Liberty or cross the streams. Hang on that’s Ghostbusters II. No, forget everything I’ve just said. Bridget Jones 3 is going to be completely original and unlike anything you’ve ever read or seen before.

Listen to the spoken word version of this every Friday morning on Erewash Sound. Usually about 8am-ish. Check with @paulstaceyshow for details.