Ain't no party on the tour de France

Find out who shares Chris Froome's tour dilemma and prepare your ears for all your favourite S Club Hits in a reunion medley.

As heard on the Erewash Sound Breakfast Show with Paul Stacey on 24 October 2014.

http://thefuzzbox.jellycast.com/files/audio/CelebNews20141024.mp3

Celeb news - A more innocent time

Hi!!! As TV’s the Fonzie would say or perhaps sing. The Fonzie is set to return in a new musical based on Happy Days, opening this weekend in Bromley. For those too young to remember, Happy Days was a sitcom set in the golden age of the fifties, those innocent days long before the ills of the internet were even imagined. The show revolved around a mechanic who used to befriend school kids and hang around inside the girls’ toilets at the local diner. It really was a more innocent time. The musical revival stars former Emmerdale Farm actor Ben Freeman as the Fonzie with Bucks Fizz bombshell Cheryl Baker as Mrs Cunningham, a parent of two of the teens he befriends.

Speaking of more innocent times. Remember S Club 7? They were like S Club Juniors but without later chart success as The Saturdays. Well they too may be getting a musical revival if Twitter is any indication. One of the S Club boys, Paul Cattermole, got on the old tweeting box to hassle former bandmates about a reunion. You might think that there wouldn’t be a cat in mole’s chance of this leading anywhere but one of them actually tweeted back with ‘ok LOL’. Reports that Cattermole then printed this out at his local library, shouting at librarians that it was a legally binding contract and that they’d better get him a plastic wallet for safekeeping are entirely made up.

Something that's not made up is that retired American basketball person Dennis Rodman has paid another visit to suspiciously fat North Korean dictator Lil Kim Jong Un. Rodman even sung happy birthday to the chubby tubster, much like Marylin Monroes did for JFK. Reports that Paul Cattermole is trying to get his former bandmates to sing at the next big North Korean birthday bash are just complete fabrications as is the rumour that Kim Jong Un would want to turn them all into an S Club Sandwich and eat them.

Celebrity news - Teen Beach Football in a Low Cut Dress

It’s the must see hit of the summer! Amazing! Five stars! A triumph! A sure-fire classic! It’s Teen Beach Movie and with any luck we’ll be quoted on the poster. It’s this year’s Saved by the Bell! It’s probably got all your favourite teen beach stars. This may or may not include Miley Cyrus, whose new single ‘We Can’t Stop’ is said to reference MDMA, which is a credit card company or something. Some people are said to be upset about the MDMA thing, probably because it could be seen to encourage teenagers to rely on credit.

If Miley is in Teen Beach Movie, she’s probably playing someone trying to consolidate her debts into one manageable loan but finds her credit score makes some lenders jumpy. It’s deeper than you think, I think, all about fiscal responsibility in a world where jobs for life are few and far between.

One of the few remaining long term jobs is being vacated as James Alexander Gordon retires after roughly 161 years of reading the classified football results. Luton Rovers 4 – Derby Athletic 1. I’m not sure who they’re going to get to replace him. Hamilton Pedagogicals 2 – Arbroath under 11s 3. They need some new blood, someone young (but not too young, early thirties should do it). S Club 7 – Jackson 5. I mean, if they asked … Police Academy 2 – Ghostbusters 2… I’d be delighted.

I just can’t do Saturdays.

Speaking of The Saturdays one of them was seen wearing a low cut dress this week. It was in the paper. You can probably find a picture on the internet as well. Mind you, in this weather you can even get away without wearing a vest. But for Gok’s sake, drink plenty of water and avoid sitting out in it for too long.

Listen to the actual audio version of Celebrity News every Friday morning at about 8am on Wake up with Erewash. www.erewashsound.com or 96.8fm. Follow @paulstaceyshow on twitters for more details.