Open auditions are going to be held in London for the new Star Wars sequels. It's your chance to Force your way into showbiz and join Hand Solo and Princess Layla aboard the Minellium Falcons.
I wanted to go for the part of Sven Duplex, a Droid farmer from the planet Frangipane with a drink problem and a heart of gold. I wanted to go for that part but it doesn't exist.
Instead I have to come crashing back to reality in the spaceship of my mind, while I confront the Earth shattering news that Pamela Andersons, from off of Baywatch, has had a haircut. The blonde bombshell has stunned fans by having a short pixie cut. We asked an actual pretend pixie for their opinion. "It's looks quite nice. I think it suits her," was their reply.
"Yeah well what about Lady Gaga?" You might say. "Someone should shoot her into space." Well, it's funny that you might say that because she might actually be shooting off into space in 2015 and performing a song aboard Richard Branson's Virgin Galactic. The gig will be part of the Zero Gravity festival in Mexico. But where do they go from here? Will Phil Collins do a drum solo on Mars? Will Katrina and the Waves actually walk on sunshine? Will Bucks Fizz blast themselves into the future to team up with Buck Rogers in the 25th Century and save the world from aliens in bad 70s outfits? We can only speculate. And you can only hear my voice saying these words if you listen to Paul Stacey's breakfast show on a Friday. He's on Erewash Sound, which is on 96.8fm in the Erewash area (Ilkeston, Long Eaton, Ockbrook etc etc).
Showing posts with label lady gaga. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lady gaga. Show all posts
Friday, 8 November 2013
Friday, 9 August 2013
Celebrity news - celebrity nudes unit
It's the world of yeah celebrity nudes unit. Your guide to who's not wearing what.
For some reason lady gaga's taken her clothes off to appear in a music video or something.
This maverick move has been welcomed by newspapers because it gives them the excuse to print some naughty pictures. One fake reporter told us "don't creep up on me like that when I'm on the computer I could be working on something private" and then added "don't tell my mum will you?"
Lady Gaga's lead is not being followed by everyone though. Bucks Fizz bombshell Cheryl Baker has disappointed or delighted fans by announcing she won't be stripping off to save some tigers. The eurovision pop legend is keeping her kit firmly on in spite of promoting the forthcoming Streak for Tigers event at London Zoo. The zoo is looking for volunteers to streak starkers around the zoo on Saturday 15 August to raise a bit of money along with 'the profile of the drastic work that needs to be done in order to save the Sumatran Tiger', of which there are only 300 left in the wild. A spokestiger has said, "if Cheryl wants to keep covered that's fine. We're just glad for the shout out from a showbiz legend and if it encourages more people to air their wobblies and raise some cash for a good cause, we're all for it. Good on ya' Chel!"
The non -existent speaking tiger had nothing to say about One Direction's state of undress. One of them, the one that's not Harry styles has been photographed without his top on while on a balcony in Los Angeles. We're led to believe that this was a gratis glimpse and that no endangered animals were saved in the process. Rumours flying round my back garden are that there's a campaign to sponsor one direction to keep their shirts on for a bit. One fatigued garden gnome said "I just wish they'd give it a rest, what's wrong with wearing a cardigan or something?"
Sign up for the Streak for Tigers event here:
https://www.zsl.org/text-only/support-us/challenge-events/streak-for-tigers-thursday-15-august,2096,AR.html
The audio version of this sort of thing goes out every Friday morning on Erewash Sound.
This maverick move has been welcomed by newspapers because it gives them the excuse to print some naughty pictures. One fake reporter told us "don't creep up on me like that when I'm on the computer I could be working on something private" and then added "don't tell my mum will you?"
Lady Gaga's lead is not being followed by everyone though. Bucks Fizz bombshell Cheryl Baker has disappointed or delighted fans by announcing she won't be stripping off to save some tigers. The eurovision pop legend is keeping her kit firmly on in spite of promoting the forthcoming Streak for Tigers event at London Zoo. The zoo is looking for volunteers to streak starkers around the zoo on Saturday 15 August to raise a bit of money along with 'the profile of the drastic work that needs to be done in order to save the Sumatran Tiger', of which there are only 300 left in the wild. A spokestiger has said, "if Cheryl wants to keep covered that's fine. We're just glad for the shout out from a showbiz legend and if it encourages more people to air their wobblies and raise some cash for a good cause, we're all for it. Good on ya' Chel!"
The non -existent speaking tiger had nothing to say about One Direction's state of undress. One of them, the one that's not Harry styles has been photographed without his top on while on a balcony in Los Angeles. We're led to believe that this was a gratis glimpse and that no endangered animals were saved in the process. Rumours flying round my back garden are that there's a campaign to sponsor one direction to keep their shirts on for a bit. One fatigued garden gnome said "I just wish they'd give it a rest, what's wrong with wearing a cardigan or something?"
Sign up for the Streak for Tigers event here:
https://www.zsl.org/text-only/support-us/challenge-events/streak-for-tigers-thursday-15-august,2096,AR.html
The audio version of this sort of thing goes out every Friday morning on Erewash Sound.
Friday, 21 June 2013
Celebrity news - Mick Jagger's magic hair swagger
Are you stuck for a gift for someone? Then why not bid for a lock of Mick Jagger’s hair? The Rolling Stones frontman’s front curls are expected to fetch about £1,500 when they go up for auction next month. Sounds like an absolute bargain. Just think of all the things you could do with it, from starting your very own rock’n’roll hall of fame cloning programme to stuffing an extremely expensive pillow containing only celebrity hair. (Fingers crossed that Brian May’s trimmings come up for sale as well.)
Or perhaps you could get it as an unusual present to cheer up professional pop singer Olly Murs.
Olly recently took to the twitter to share this terrible news:
How did his fans react? By trying to raise money for new hangers, or by just offering sympathy and understanding? No by desperate pleas for Olly to please, please, please follow them back or send them some sort of reply on twitter to authenticate their existence in his divine eyes.
Well kids I've got some inside news from a man in the know. (You know, that bloke who wanders around town furiously rewinding tapes on his personal stereo so he can listen to his favourite bit over and over again.) He reckons it's not even Olly doing the tweeting. It's actually 'J' from nineties boyband Five.J decided not to join his former bandmates on tour this year and is said to be concentrating on writing. What we didn't know till now was that he is ghostwriting Olly Murs's tweets. To what end we don't know, but our man with the Walkman is convinced that the smooth-headed J is saving up to bid on Mick Jagger’s hair.
J may have competition though in the form of The Voice judge and cat food manufacturer Will.IAMS. Mr IAMS has been saying things this week, like you know how about only 12 people bought the album by last year’s winner of The Voice? That’s the record label’s fault, that is. According to my sources in the cupboard, Mr IAMS has come up with an ingenious plan to shift more units. It all involves harnessing the power of Mick Jagger's magic hair swagger in a secret voodoo ritual. The hair will be mixed with Lady Gaga's fake fingernail, sold at auction earlier this month, and fed to last year's the Voice winner. Bonkers, you may cry, but when the sound of last year's winner chucking up a mixture of Jagger and Gaga clippings is released as a bonus track, you'll all be buying the album.
Listen to Celebrity News every Friday morning at about 8am on Wake up with Erewash. www.erewashsound.com or 96.8fm. Follow @paulstaceyshow on twitters for more details.
Or perhaps you could get it as an unusual present to cheer up professional pop singer Olly Murs.
Olly recently took to the twitter to share this terrible news:
It's sad.. but basically 3 of my hangers broke today in my suitcase.. i'm actually proper gutted about it.. they were good ones!! #loser
— Olly Murs (@ollyofficial) June 17, 2013
How did his fans react? By trying to raise money for new hangers, or by just offering sympathy and understanding? No by desperate pleas for Olly to please, please, please follow them back or send them some sort of reply on twitter to authenticate their existence in his divine eyes.
Well kids I've got some inside news from a man in the know. (You know, that bloke who wanders around town furiously rewinding tapes on his personal stereo so he can listen to his favourite bit over and over again.) He reckons it's not even Olly doing the tweeting. It's actually 'J' from nineties boyband Five.J decided not to join his former bandmates on tour this year and is said to be concentrating on writing. What we didn't know till now was that he is ghostwriting Olly Murs's tweets. To what end we don't know, but our man with the Walkman is convinced that the smooth-headed J is saving up to bid on Mick Jagger’s hair.
J may have competition though in the form of The Voice judge and cat food manufacturer Will.IAMS. Mr IAMS has been saying things this week, like you know how about only 12 people bought the album by last year’s winner of The Voice? That’s the record label’s fault, that is. According to my sources in the cupboard, Mr IAMS has come up with an ingenious plan to shift more units. It all involves harnessing the power of Mick Jagger's magic hair swagger in a secret voodoo ritual. The hair will be mixed with Lady Gaga's fake fingernail, sold at auction earlier this month, and fed to last year's the Voice winner. Bonkers, you may cry, but when the sound of last year's winner chucking up a mixture of Jagger and Gaga clippings is released as a bonus track, you'll all be buying the album.
Listen to Celebrity News every Friday morning at about 8am on Wake up with Erewash. www.erewashsound.com or 96.8fm. Follow @paulstaceyshow on twitters for more details.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)